RIP Chuck Norris: It Wasn't Superman, Spock, The Rock, or Doc Ock (Does ANYONE ELSE Remember This Song?!)
- 2 days ago
- 3 min read
This is not what I usually want do for these blog posts, but what I thought was a ubiquitous bit of early-internet kidlore may have actually been a very niche experience, and I need to find out if it's true.
You know those early internet videos everyone just seems to have seen - ones from back in the days when YouTube was simple, and there were only so many videos to be passed around in the first place. Charlie the Unicorn, The Potter Puppet Pals, Fred, Nigahiga; these are common staples which adults who ride the split between Millennials and Gen Z will remember with some amount of cringe-infused fondness.
I thought, prior to bringing up this song recently - after thinking of it for the first time in years - that it was just another one of those videos: one that had long since earned the title of Undisputed Internet Classic. I have memories of kids in my classes challenging each other to memorize as much of this song as possible, like a baby version of what happened with Blackalicious' Alphabet Aerobics after Daniel Radcliffe did it on Jimmy Fallon.
Apparently, I was wrong about that.
None of my adult friends remember "The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny."
My first natural assumption was that it was one of those weird regional things - I'm from one of those places where people stay for most of their lives, so stuff could sometimes become really popular locally without ever breaching containment. I figured this
Perhaps "The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny" was just another one of those things like "Whisper Down the Lane," I thought to myself, recalling getting to college and learning that everyone else in the US calls it "Telephone." I confidently texted my group chats of high school friends to have laugh about this.
They did not remember.
The only ones who did vaguely remember happens to also be one I've been friends with for so long that it gives me absolutely no evidence other than the fact that yes, this video must have made its way through whatever circle I was in around 2006 and 2007.
I looked it up, and at first I was alarmed: The top video only had ten million views, which for a video that old, should be higher if it has the legendary status I imagined. Then I saw that it was only posted 6 years ago: ah, a 4K reupload. Was the original deleted?
No - though it does have only 619K views, which is lower than I expected. Even "Charlie the Unicorn 4" had 12 million views, and I have no clue what happened in that.
(Also, in looking that up I found that there have been two new Charlie the Unicorn videos posted in the last five years: One, four years ago, entitled "The Grand Finale," and then one from just last year, entitled "Charlie Enjoys a Moment of Peace." This is going to need its own post, because what - but also, good for Charlie. He deserves it. They stole his freakin' kidneys.)
I click through to see the original account and it is at the very least confirmed that this song has SOME SORT of legendary status. That's when I found out that Lemon Demon is the musical pseudonym of Neil Cicierega...who also gave us one of the greatest YouTube video series of all time: The Potter Puppet Pals.
The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny was Lemon Demon's most popular song until 2020, when it was began to be surpassed by songs from his full albums. When it was released, the Ultimate Showdown was even featured on radio shows for novelty songs like the Dr. Demento Show; and you can find endless covers, collaborations, anniversary tributes, and more on YouTube.
So WHY does The Ultimate Showdown seem to have been scrubbed from the collective memories of everyone I know???
I don't have the answers. This is an open-ended question. I NEED the answers. Please, watch this video and let me know - does this spark some memory from you?! Do did you and YOUR friends once challenge each other to memorize the words? Have I been Bearenstein'd?!
Let me know.
And Rest In Peace, Chuck Norris - a little advice: don't come down from the heavens to try to kick anyone in the crotch, especially Indiana Jones.' I have a feeling you're better off not getting involved.
Comments